I can't believe that yet another year has come and gone. At midnight it will be 2008 but I can't quite decide if I'm ready for that or not. This will be a year like no other. It will bring many new things and I'm not too big on change. But the Lord is good. I've learned so much this year- probably more than I even know. Hindsight is such an odd thing. I've changed alot too. I have a favorite song that basically describes the place I'm at now. Its called Anthem:
This is my anthem, I've got my hands up
I am fire inside, I am lipstick and cleats
I'm not going home, I'm playing for keeps
I'm a girl with skinned knees
I am concrete and grace
I'm not what you think
You can't keep me in my place
Here's to a girl on her board
I've got bruises and scars
My fingers bleed from playing guitar
I don't give up when times get hard
I'll never let you say that I'll never get that far
I am fire inside
I am an army asleep
I am a person awaking to follow her dreams
I don't have time for your games cause
I've got my own goals to score
There are trophies to win
Instead of being one of yours
I've got skinned knees, I've got bruises and scars
I am not what you think, and I will get that far.
I've discovered alot of things this year and among the top of the list is that love hurts! Its hard, it takes sacrifice, and alot of times things turn out completely different than you ever thought they would. Life goes on, it keeps moving, and I've had to learn to be ok with that. I've learned that:
-I don't know what I'm going to do with my life
-I wish I just didn't care about alot of things... but I do
-I'm not ordinary, but I'm not different, I'm not average either
-I still do things that people think I should have grown out of by now
-I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it
-I take things too seriously
-Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but man is man only by his heart
-I live for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow, and not for past mistakes
-Life's a dance, you learn as you go- sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
-Sometimes being wrong is the right thing to be
-I hate the dark, and I don't like being alone
-Its ridiculous the things we do to feel alive
-It takes real love to break your heart, but it takes true love to put it back together- I still want that
-I typically don't take no for an answer and I need to work on that
-Its ok to lose your pride over someone you love, but never lose someone you love over your pride because you'll regret it forever
-What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things
-Sometimes "our song" is just our life
-I need to just dance, because I don't need permission to live
-I never knew I needed someone there when I cry, and when those I love walk away, I still count the steps they take
-Even if I traded it all and if I gave it all away for one thing, it still would mean nothing, but its worth a try.
-Sometimes love is unknowable, you give it to someone and they just don't care
-I'm over a lot of things
-Too often music is the only reason that I know time still exists
-I want to be "that" girl
-I'm in love with the sky at night or in the morning- it amazes me constantly
-When I dance, I want drums in the air and every soul in the room to keep time with my hands
I'm complicated and complex but I suppose that's because I'm created by a complex yet so simple God. Happy New Years. Welcome 2008!
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